Being Alive
by doineedaname
Summary: The lifestream gives a present to the planet's Hero, this present is Zack.  M in later chapters
1. Chapter 1

It was bright. Very bright.

Opening my eyes hurt, the light beating into my skull from above me. I willed my hand to move at my side, but it felt too heavy to lift. My fingers twitched, letting me know I wasn't completely paralyzed. Why did my whole body hurt…Oh. That's right, I had been dead.

"_You are the proof that I lived."_

_My words echoed in my head as I said them, blood surrounded me leaving my body feeling cold and empty. Things seemed fuzzy, and it was hard to focus my vision on Cloud. Oh god, Cloud…_

_There was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to apologize for. It pained me to know he'd be alone to process all that had happened. I'm sorry._

_Then everything burst into white._

Slowly, I felt my arms lift my upper half off the ground beneath me. My head felt woozy, but my eyes were slowly beginning to focus. The cliff was barren, no grass anywhere near my death site. Something caught my eye causing my head to turn and gaze in horror and wonder. Stabbed into the ground at the tip of the cliff was my buster sword; the sword I had hoped Cloud would take and use. For some reason this didn't surprise me, as if somewhere deep within my mind I knew he had done this. Some memories were foggy, so I was fine with acknowledging that I just knew he did it.

It took a few tries, but I was finally able to stand up. Walking wasn't as easy though, I was more like stumbling about like a drunk. The uncontrollable laughter at myself wasn't helping the "drunk" outlook I was portraying. I couldn't help it though. I, the great Zack Fair SOLDIER First Class, the man who single handedly took down Genesis and my own mentor, Angeal, could barely walk.

Funny, isn't it?

Leaning against a rock I tilted my head towards the clouded sky and smiled. _You didn't say it'd be this difficult coming back Aerith._

A glimmer of sunlight peaked through the clouds, almost as if she was laughing at me. I knew, just like she did, that this would all be worth it though. We both loved Cloud in different ways, and at different points of his life. He needed some form of happiness in his life, I remember deep in my mind some talk or agreement her and I shared. Thus why I was here.

_Finally! _A road, just what I needed. Surely it would lead me into a town. Or at least maybe a vehicle would come by that I could hitchhike with. It was still amazing to me how dead everything was. Small patches of weeds collected in places among the rock and the dirt, but that was it. I felt a pang of sadness, knowing that once, long ago, grass had been everywhere.

_The planet's still healing Zack, but you'll see it's better._

Aerith's voice stopped me in my tracks, just as I dropped to my knees. Exhaustion suddenly seized my whole body. Using my last once of energy I used my hand to catch myself as I fell, knowing it'd be disastrous on this terrain to hit my head. And that was my last thought, before darkness consumed me once again.

CxZCxZCxZ

The sensation of a cool cloth woke me up, my eyes barely opening before I heard a familiar female's voice.

"She brought you back."

Cloud's friend. I couldn't remember her name but I knew who she was. Concern laced her face She sat in a wooden chair close to the bed I lay on. Sitting up felt much easier this time, and I gave her my award winning smile.

"Yup! How's it been?"

"Cloud won't accept it." She stood up, crossing her arms thoughtfully. "He's downstairs with the children." Another sort pause. "He didn't see you being brought up here."

Did she seem…upset I was here? Gazing down at the blanket covering my legs, I felt a bit sorry for her. It was obvious she cared about him, as a friend and in the same way I did. What I couldn't tell if her reasons for seeming upset were from a fear of Cloud losing his mind over seeing me alive or…No she wasn't that selfish to be angry about Cloud and I.

Besides it had been years, I wasn't ignorant. Sure, I was hot stuff! But if he had moved on he had moved on.

"He's stronger than you think." Her head snapped up at my words, anger apparent in the dark brown orbs.

"You think you can just come back whenever you want? When he's finally healing, happy? Where were you when he was breaking? Dying? We were all left to care for him, and you just waltz back into his life like a god damn hero?"

I was standing up now. I wasn't angry at her words, she didn't know the situation. Didn't know how this all worked. But she was raising her voice, and if no one knew I was here the children and Cloud downstairs would have no clue who she was yelling at like this. Plus, my heightened sense of hearing was still intact, and everything had gone quiet downstairs. Someone had also been sneaking their way up the stairs.

And that's when we both heard the door open.

"Cloud." He was breath taking. He looked nothing like the young boy that was trying to make his way into SOLDIER. But he didn't look as deathly as he had when he had faced Sephiroth and Kadaj's gang.

I wanted to touch him. Hold him, never let go. Apologize for leaving him to fight all by himself. Tell him I still loved him, how I watched him everyday. Tell him how proud of him I was, how strong he was. And also, just fuck the shit out of him. Hey, I'm sentimental but it's been years since I got any; and he looks _fine!_

Instead, we both stood their staring at each other. I couldn't read him anymore, and it sent a sharp pain through my chest.

"Cloud, I was going to tell you," Tifa's voice cut into our, moment I guess you could call it, and we both turned to look at her. Cloud nodded, before backing out of the door frame and down the stairs. Then he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

_This wasn't what I wanted._

Tifa and I had followed Cloud to his room a few minutes later, and were greeted by a horrific sight. Cloud sat cross legged on his bed, staring wide eyed at the wall with both hands clenched against the sides of his head. Tifa had rushed to his side saying something about 'not again' as I stood there dumbfounded. I had hoped my presence would delight him, make him jump into my arms like he had when he was younger. I had underestimated his mental stability, forgotten in my own haze how on the brink of losing it he had been since I died. Hell, since Sephiroth burnt down Nibelhiem really.

_He's fragile Zack. He thinks he's finally lost it for real. You just need to ground him. I can't reach him when he's like this._

I nodded to myself as Aerith's words enter my mind. Taking a dep breath I attempt to step forward, but Tifa's head snaps up so fast it startles me.

"Do you understand what you just did?"

"Tifa calm-"

"Do _not _tell me to calm down!" She's standing now, fists at her side shaking. "When we were chasing after Sephiroth, I took care of him for days while he sat comatose like this. He barely made it back with his sanity still intact. And then you send him back!"

Now I'm pissed, "Tifa, all do respect but you don't know what you are talking about. Okay? Aerith sent me back, she sent me back because we both love him so much and know he needs some sort of light or else he'll keep spiraling downwards."

And with that I walk up to where Cloud sits on his bed, and sit next to. Silently I slide the glove off my hand, then run my hand through his blonde locks. There's no response, but that's okay. I can wait, I've waited longer in the lifestream for this. Whats a few more days? Besides, I know Clouds strong, he just needs time. But while he was taking his time, I needed to know some things.

"Tifa, we need to talk." She looks at me, almost as if she dreads whatever it is we are going to talk about. Finally I get at least a nod, and she pulls a chair from the other side of the room over and takes a seat. We stare at each other a long time before I finally speak. My hand never stops the soothing motion through Cloud's hair. She seems annoyed that I'm touching him in this way.

"Is there still SOLDIER?"

"No, Rufus is trying to rebuild ShinRa but the people are very suspicious of them still. It'll take a long time before they are even close to a super power again. If ever…But the Turks are still around."

I take a sharp breath, almost afraid to ask. "Who-um, who are the Turks now?"

"Tseng is still the 'leader', then there's Elena, Reno, and Rude."

A sob like noise comes from Cloud, and his hands drop to his side. Both Tifa and I look at him, but nothing else happens. I gently push him into a laying position on the bed, and pull the covers over him. Inside I was hoping maybe he'd fall asleep, so he could get some real peace from his own thoughts.

"Where am I at now? And what does Cloud do for a living?"

"You're in Midgar. This is my bar, the Seventh Heaven. This is also the base of operations for Cloud's delivery service." This makes me smile, he had been able to hear me when he was comatose all those years ago. I want to hug him, and squeeze his face.

"Who are the kids in some of these pictures?" I nod towards a picture on Cloud's desk.

"The girl's name is Marlene. She's our friend Barret's daughter. He has to go away on jobs a lot, so we care for her while he's gone so she can have a stable environment. The boy is named Denzel. His parents died during all the craziness, and we sort of took him in. Him and Cloud have this crazy bond, it's sweet."

The idea of Cloud taking care of children warmed my heart and saddened me at the same time. We had talked of adopting children of our own, all those years ago. Sure cloud had been fairly young, but we both wanted that life together. And now he got to do that, but it sucked big time that it couldn't be with me. But I was also proud of him for taking these two in. But now it was time for the tough question.

"Tifa, are you and Cloud together?"

"We have a family. We live together. We own a business together. And we occasionally have sex. So I'd say we are."

She was trying to hurt me, and while it worked I wasn't going to show it. She was protective over Cloud, she knew how fragile he could be. I couldn't be angry at her for that. And I wasn't sent back to be a home wrecker. If Cloud was truly with Tifa, I wasn't going to sabotage that, even if it made me want to bash my fists into a wall repeatedly.

"Look, I'm not here to ruin your relationship Tifa. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to try and wake up our friend."

I knelt down by the side of the bed, looking at Cloud. Softly I pressed my lips against his forehead, and started whispering whatever came to my head to him. How I missed him, how he needed to come back so he could kick my ass. Everything. Eventually, I felt his hand reach out, and grab mine before his eyes fluttered shut. He was asleep, and I stayed put holding his hand for awhile. I wanted more then anything to crawl in bed with him, but I had told Tifa I wasn't here to ruin her relationship. I wasn't going to go back on my word.

"Come take over for me? I think it's best if I stay in my room." Tifa nodded and took Cloud's hand from me, kissing his face and cooing at him while I slipped back into my own room. My chest felt like it was going to burst, so many emotions were coursing through me.

And that's when the thought hit me. Thoughts of my Cloud, fucking Tifa. I've never been a jealous person, I've never had a reason to be. But I was filled with rage and hurt. All I could think of was how I was the person to deflower him.

_He lay on my bed, naked and smiling nervously. His lips were a bright pink and slightly poutish from out heavy make out session. His milk-pale skin looked beautiful against my black sheets, and his bright blue eyes gazed up at me with love and trust. I was between his legs, ready to enter his previously prepared entrance. I leaned down and kissed him slowly, trying to convey how I felt for him in a kiss. I caressed the sides of his face with both my hands and pulled away, staring at back at him._

"_You want to do this Cloud?" He nodded that smile never leaving his face._

"_I love you," I kissed him again and began to push into his tight entrance. He instinctively tightened up, and whimpered in pain. "Do you trust me?"_

_Another nod, "Then you have to relax and trust me to not let this hurt you."_

_And he did._

The memory made me smile.


	3. Chapter 3

For the next few days, Cloud didn't return. I stayed with Tifa and the kids, and although I was worried about what had happened to my Chocobo, it was still nice. I told the kids stories of a much younger and happier Cloud, much to everyone's amusement. I always had a way with kids, so they took to me pretty fast, which I reckon was a good thing considering how much they meant to Cloud. My body still wasn't one hundred percent yet, but I had been showing the young boy named Denzel some sword techniques using sticks. It was good to be alive.

This morning, I had just gotten done taking a shower and was drying my hair in my room. It had been nice to feel the warm water beating down against my skin. So now as I dried my hair, I took my time with it, enjoying the feeling.

My enjoyment was cut short though as I heard someone running up the stairs, and the bedroom door was flung open. There stood Cloud, breathing heavy from running for who knows how long. I raised an eyebrow watching him eye me; determination his eyes. He reached beside himself and shut the door slowly and quietly before making his way up to me.

Although still shorter than me, it wasn't by much as it had been when he was younger. I kind of missed that-

Timidly Cloud grabbed the back of my head, this lost almost childlike air about him. And then he kissed me. This wasn't the first kiss I had hoped for, but I knew he needed this reassurance. It wasn't full of passion, or even love really. This kiss was his way of connecting that what he was seeing, me, was reality. He was making sure I was there, and it was really me. So, I gave him just that.

The kiss was tender, very light tongue, almost nonexistent. I wrapped my arms around his frame, he felt so different, it was startling. We stayed like that for awhile with me enjoying the feel of my old lover being back in my arms, and him second guessing his mental state and probably trying to assess the situation. I pulled away from the kiss first, looking at him and taking in what he looked like at that exact moment.. His eyes were filled with happiness and pain. Both stemmed from me. Which I'm not going to lie, sucked big time.

"Hey." Was that all I could really get out?

"Hey back." His head was resting on my shoulder, making me smile. It felt nice to have him so close to me. I never wanted to let go. I had promised Tifa I wouldn't mess their 'family' up, and while I wanted to be selfish I knew that wasn't fair. So while I had the chance I wanted to take in the comfort of having him here with me. Guiding us towards the bed, we both fell against the mattress and just laid there. For hours.

CxZCxZCxZ

Cloud was as difficult as always. It's in his nature to be distrusting, damn near skittish. It took me a long time back in SOLDIER to get him to trust me enough to build up physical trust, let alone a relationship. And now, we were back at that stage. He wouldn't really let me touch him, and he had closed himself off into his own thoughts. I didn't mind chasing him though. Chasing him had been my main past time back in the day, and while Cloud used to seem annoyed by my antics, I knew deep down he had enjoyed the attention. Sure he never told me, but I can _always _tell these things.

"Hey baaaaabay!" I grinned down at him, as he sat at the bar talking to Tifa who stood on the other side. She didn't like my 'jokes' to be honest, but again I was Zack. I always did what I wanted! Besides, Cloud wasn't telling me to stop he looked amused honestly.

Walking over I plopped myself down on the stool next to him, giving him my best smile. "You come here often?"

"Excuse me Zack, but the kids are right outside."

"Sorry Tifa! Excuse me Sir, can I _talk _to you upstairs. And by upstairs I mean my bed. And by talk, I mean well…You know what I mean." Now Cloud had a full blown smile across his face, and Tifa looked like she was trying not to laugh.

"Zack, do you mind keeping an eye on Denzel and Marlene for a bit? Cloud and I need to go talk, _business_."

Cloud shot me a pitiful glance as Tifa dragged him upstairs. I knew what they were going upstairs to do, I've heard them a few times. I always put on a smile, I'm not about to guilt Cloud more then he probably feels. But that pit in my stomach doesn't feel good either. And I know Tifa's making it obvious and being loud to make her territory clear to me. But I used to make Cloud make marvelous noises, he was never a quiet lover. I never heard him make a peep with her. Sure, I'm pointing that out out of jealousy. So what? I can be a little bitter. I was his first, and his only. So yes, this sucked.

So I played with the kids, and tried to learn about how much the world had changed. Usually this meant exploring Midgar, and talking to the people that were willing to speak. You'd be surprised how much you can learn from those around you, if that's the one great thing Angeal taught me, I'll be happy to admit it.

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A faint knock on my door sometime later into the evening startled me from my thoughts. I had a pile of documents and photographs in front of me, from people around the city on what had happened. Many assumed I was some poor bloke that had lost my memory in all the travesty, and just wanted to help me understand. I was grateful that most didn't pry, and the one's that did didn't pry too hard. Mainly, I just wanted to be on the same page as everyone else as to what had happened. It sure would make talking to people easier.

"Zack, it's Cloud."

Swallowing my pride was hard, the last I had talked to him was earlier today when he was going to shack it up with Tifa. Part of me wanted to be an ass and say nothing, pretend to be asleep. But then part of me was happy Cloud came to see me. I had told him to live, hadn't I? And that was what he was doing, he didn't know I was going to come back. I needed to give the kid some slack.

"Come on in ol' buddy ol' pal!"

My usual cheesy grin was plastered on my face as Cloud entered my room, a plate of food in his arms. "I thought you might be hungry."

"Well gee Cloud, aren't you a doll?" I could tell he wanted to talk, and he seemed a bit embarrassed. I wasn't about to make the situation worse on him.

Handing me the plate, Cloud stood there watching me as if expecting something. What he was expecting was me to yell, make a scene I guess. But I'd never yelled at my Chocobo out of anger, and I was not about to start. Instead, I started chowing down on the steak and potatoes I was brought. That made him sit down.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I looked up from my potatoes, attempting to swallow before speaking again. "The food is delicious!"

He was looking at the floor, avoiding me completely. "For well…for moving on. I knew I should have waited."

"Now Choco-"

"No Zack! You came back, you came back for me. And what am I doing? I'm fucking Tifa upstairs while you wander around Midgar with nothing." He paused, and at this point I had lost my appetite at the words 'fucking Tifa upstairs'. "I love you, I still love you Zack. I spent more than half my life after you died, pretending to be _you_! And when I remembered, I used to pray I could forget you or be with you. I want to be with you Zack!"

He was on his knees now, fists clenched against his knees. I felt like he was begging for forgiveness, and it made me sick that this is what I had reduced him to.

"Cloud…Cloud listen okay? I love you too, obviously. But can you look at me Chocobo head?" His gaze ever so slowly lifted to look at me. In this moment he looked more like that scared sixteen year old boy back when I was in SOLDIER, afraid of being rejected by yours truly. So I did exactly what I did back then. I sat on my knees in front of him, the front of our jeans barely touching and gave him my warmest smile. Because I was Zack, I was his Hero right? Then I needed to stop being so damned selfish and make him feel okay about all of this.

"We can't be together Cloud, not right now. You have a family, you have a life. I didn't come here to break that up." His head dropped again, but I gently lifted it back up to look at me. "You must have felt something for Tifa while I was dead, that's okay. I never wanted you to be alone. I think you're just still in shock in me being back. Remember back in ShinRa?"

He shook his head, but at least kept his gaze with me.

"I told you let's take things slow. So let's take things slow Cloud. Let's get to know each other again. You're not a teenager anymore, you're a strong man that saved the world on numerous occasions. You're a hero."

"You're the true Hero Zack…" He smiled genuinely at me, making my heart melt just a tad.

"Well since we're both Hero's, let's be honorable Hero's. Let's see if we still have immediate feelings for each other, just see where we fit into each other's lives. You stay with Tifa, I know you care about her. And I loved wandering around Midgar! Talking to people is so interesting Cloud…I'll take you with me sometime."

His face had brightened, and next thing I knew I had an arm full of Cloud. I squeezed him, enjoying the embrace. I never knew when these hugs would stop, so I enjoyed them while I could. I had a sneaking feeling Cloud was doing the same.

"I feel like an ass. I think, I want to stop having sex with Tifa for awhile." I laughed out loud, causing Cloud to pull away from our embrace and give me a startled expression.

"Oh Chocobo! As much as it sucks knowing you're giving it to Big Tits down there, I'm glad you're at least still a sexual being. Have fun!" I was such a great actor, I should get an award!

Cloud was still staring at me intently, before leaning forward capturing my lips. I pulled away, not wanting to undermine what we had just discussed. "Zack, if we decide we don't go together anymore, I want one last kiss. It might be our last one, please?"

Okay, how could I argue with that? So sue me. We leaned in and kissed, it was much more sensual then our first one since I'd come back. I held him tightly against my body, and he wrapped his fingers into my hair. I tried to memorize the way he tasted, the way it felt to have him so close. Then, I pulled away. He whimpered, trying to pull me back but I got up, going back to my food. He sat there, staring at where I had been as if a ghost had been standing before him.

"Cloud!" Both our heads snapped up, obviously guilty feelings consumed us both. Tifa was downstairs, and had obviously been the one to make me dinner. She was probably waiting for Cloud to come join her and the two children.

"Go on," I nodded towards the door with a sad smile. He got up, stopping only once he reached the door frame.

"Tomorrow, a few old friends are stopping by. They want to meet you. Maybe we can get a little 'reacquainted' when they're all here."

"Of course!" We smiled at each other one last time, and then he was gone.

Honestly, I had never expected things to be this hard.

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**Author's Note: Hello readers! I just wanted to take the time to say, thanks for all the nice reviews. I also wanted to explain why I'm taking this approach to Zack returning. While I want him and Cloud to just bone and be happy already, I feel that's unrealistic. Zack and Aerith both encouraged Cloud to have a life in Advent Children, and from playing Crisis Core I have a fair idea of how amazing a guy Zack could be. So I wanted to portray those things in the story. So bare with me the next few chapters, it's going to be a long and bumpy ride!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note****: Thanks to everyone for the nice reviews. I know everyone is getting antsy for Cloud and Zack to fuck already, but it may be another two to three chapters. I'm not sure yet. But my sex scenes never fail to please, so continue to be patient.**

**The chapter's should be getting longer now!**

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"_Cloud, I love you."_

_He looked at me, surprise and fear radiating from his eyes. His small pink tongue darted out from between his parted lips and licked them. I stared back at him from where I sat next to him on the couch. I wanted to move closer, to touch him, but he just wasn't responding at all._

"_Hey Spikey, I know I'm sexy with my muscles and all but you shouldn't stare!" That seemed to knock him out of whatever haze my words had thrown him into. Three months of dating, and I was proud to say I knew how to relax my lover very well. If I do say so myself._

_He smiled shyly at me, and snuggled closer into my arms. _

"_Don't tell anyone, but I love you too Zack."_

"_Way to leave me hanging Cloud, I thought maybe you weren't going to say it back!" He lightly smacked the back of my head, and I leaned forward capturing his lips in mine._

All I could think about since I had woken up was my dream. When I woke up it was like I could smell him next to me, taste him on my lips. That memory was from so long ago, where did my crazy little brain find it? But then it left me to wonder, was this how Cloud felt every morning those first few years dreaming of me? I felt like the biggest tool in existence.

Since we had our talk yesterday evening, Cloud had retreated back into being distant from me. I had a feeling this would happen, mainly because he didn't know how to process what he was feeling. This morning I had tried to ruffle his hair, and he pulled away from me like I had the plague. He was lucky I was who I was though, and knew him well enough to not be offended.

Now it was later in the evening, and the bar was full of Cloud and Tifa's friends. That little girl Marlene, her father Barrett was drinking and talking loudly with her. They seemed to have an interesting bond. Denzel sat with them too, mainly because from what I could gather, him and Marlene were best friends forever. Barrett had arrived first and approached me with some lecture about how I better never lay a finger on "his Marlene". I gave my award winning Zack laugh, and told him Marlene could kick my ass any day of the week.

"Damn right she could!" Was all he said before him and the children went to their own corner.

A porcelain doll looking fellow, Vincent I think his name was, showed up as well. Followed by some old familiar faces! Reno and Tseng, while they hunted Cloud and myself I was just glad to see people I used to be friends with. People Cloud had mentioned, were somewhat trustworthy now. And after some catching up, Reno was now drinking like a maniac and yelling about some crazy sex night between him and Tseng while his lover kept his head low, obviously embarrassed.

Cloud and Tifa were making their rounds, engaging in conversation with everyone, laughing, making memories. I on the other hand, just kept thinking about my dream. I missed Cloud, it was hard to lie to myself at times. I missed my life, I missed having Aerith to call and knock some sense into me. But this was my life now, this is what I had been thrown into. Doesn't mean it didn't suck balls though.

"Zack."

I about jumped out of my skin. How the Hell did Vincent sneak up behind me? Where did he even come from?

"Jesus, you gave me a heart attack!"

He gave a small smile, before nodding outside. "Let's talk."

CxZCxZCxZ

It was nice and warm out, and the stars shone brightly. Talk about a beautiful night, and I was spending it with Porcelain Dude. Maybe I should be getting some drinks in me.

"I want to discuss your situation with Cloud."

Now he had my attention. Leaning back against the bar wall, I gave Vincent a questioning look. "Oh?"

"Yes. Cloud and I have had, many discussions whilst you were dead. These discussions were about my beloved Lucrecia, and you. Both of us loving the dead. We have had one discussion since you're rebirth. He claims you are pushing him away. What are you wanting to accomplish in your life now?"

"Uh," okay lets be honest, I felt a little awkward here, "I want to make Cloud happy again."

"Happiness is a hard task to accomplish in this world, especially after the attack of that Calamity, and the Geostigma. Stop being a chess player, and let him in Fair."

And then he sauntered back into the bar, leaving me stunned. Did I just get lectured on my former relationship by a dead looking man with a red cape? What has the world come to.

Shrugging I walked back into the bar, and got myself some beer. If this was a preview of how the rest of the night was going to go, I was going to need some alcohol in my system to cope. Some heavy liquor actually.

"_Don't tell anyone, but I love you too Zack."_

I looked up to see Tifa on Cloud's lap, and her kissing his neck. He was talking to Tseng whilst she did this, and it was almost picture perfect of a scene from our past. Except I had been the one in Cloud's position, and I had been talking to Tseng. And instead of Tifa, Cloud had been on my lap kissing on my neck. Oh, how the tides had changed. Yes, do I sound bitter? It's probably the alcohol, but I definitely am.

Hey, I might be Zack Fair, but you try watching something like this and see how happy you are.

And that's when Cloud looked over at me, and we just stared at each other. Me, giving him the biggest, fakest smile I had and him baring his eyes into my soul just like he used to when he was trying to figure me out. The reason me and Cloud always got along so well back in the army days, was because we could read each other so well. With Cloud, you could always tell he was upset or angry, but he would never open up and would become a recluse. I on the other hand, hide behind my smile and use my happiness and upbeat attitude as a shield to keep others from seeing when I'm in pain. The flip side is, because we know these facts about each other, we know how to get the problems out in the open whether we want to or not.

He patted Tifa off his lap and walked up to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I continued to smile at him, regardless of how he was looking at me. At least he wasn't being distant anymore, right?

"It's difficult adjusting, I know." I nodded with a shrug, and tossed back more of the beer in front of me, then lifted my hand and ruffled his hair. "Don't be so serious Spikey!"

"Zack, you're not okay."

The problem was, by the time this conversation was taken place I was feeling a little buzzed from the monstrous alcohol consumption. This resulted in me being louder than normal, and possibly making a scene. And by possibly, I totally mean I made a huge scene.

"I'm not okay? Spikey of course I'm not okay! It's been what, over seven years or so since I've been alive? All my closest friends are dead. As in D-E-A-D, y'know not coming back. Who even knows what happened to my mom. Do they even know what happened to me? I never even wrote her…I have no where to live, no job, oh and my boyfriend is shacking up with Big Tits over there and I get to listen every night! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go indulge in an old SOLDIER tradition, and drink alone in my room and sing war songs. I bid thee, Adieu."

I did say I made a scene didn't I? The whole room was silent after my little explosion. And while I admit, I normally never explode like that, it was nice to finally acknowledge that I was a bit alone in this future time.

Unwilling to look at Cloud, for fear of what emotions it would invoke in me, I grabbed some random alcohol bottle, and made my way upstairs. Once in my room, I did just what I said I'd do. I sang war songs, and I sang them loudly.

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I'd love to say the next day I woke up and Cloud was in my arms and we frolicked through a daisy field or some weird shit like that, but instead I woke up early and left. Mainly I just wanted to explore, but I also wanted to gather my thoughts. Plus, getting back in shape was at the top of my to do list. So I ran. I ran around Midgar, smiling at people I didn't know. Waving at kids. There was a gaggle of people in the market square, and I did hand stands for them, cart wheels, and flips. It really did feel nice just doing stuff I used to do.

Until I had to return at least. But even then, I went out back and did squats. How could I make money? Maybe I could be a personal body guard or something, that seemed fun. Not much action, but it'd give me something to do to pass the time. I liked the idea.

"Zack?"

I was in mid squat stance when Cloud approached me. In his hand he held my Buster Sword, polished and pristine looking. Standing back in a normal position, I didn't have time to think before Cloud threw the sword at me. At least my reflexes were still awesome! But he had a sword as well.

"I challenge you, Zack Fair, to a match."

"Bring it Chocobo!" I smirked and got in my familiar old stance.

I watched as Cloud got in his fighting stance, but different than the one he used when he was sixteen. Well, he had saved the world hadn't he? I quirked an eye brow at him, and we ran towards each other our blade clashing. He was stronger than me, we both knew it but that wasn't the point. We twirled, jumped from tree's to the ground and rolled on the ground. I was having the time of my life, and then Cloud got the upper hand and knocked my weapon from my hand. I stared at him in disbelief.

"You won!"

"As my reward, we get to talk. I want to tell you about myself."

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We sat across from each other in my room once again. Apparently Tifa and the kids had gone to Barrett's to see something he made for Marlene. So it was just the two of us.

"Tifa and I have been together almost a year. She knows I don't necessarily love her, to be honest I didn't know if I could ever love again after everything. But we wanted the kids to have a family, and she loved me. When it became sexual, it was apart of that obligation. That's why Tifa gets upset around you, because she knows you were the last person I loved, and the person I still do. I love her, but not in the way she wants."

He took a deep breath, looking up at the clouded sky as if maybe it would grant him answers. I didn't want to say anything, he obviously needed to just spew his thoughts out at me. And I really wanted him to.

"You're the same Zack, but I've changed. I'm different, but I want you to be apart of that. I want you in my life more than anything. I know what you said we should do, but I want us to see how things can be between us. So I made a decision."

I laughed a bit, "Oh, so because you saved the world like fifteen times you think you're the boss now?"

"Something like that," he gave me a cheesy grin back. "Tifa and the kids will be at Barrett's for a week. I asked her to go, told her I needed to figure things out with you. She knows I need to make a choice, and I can't do it with both of you around. I need to experience things with you again Zack, even if just for us to fulfill that 'what if' in the back of my head. Can you do that with me, please?"

I barely got out a yes, before Cloud threw himself at me, and our lips crashed together. I grasped the back of his head, and shoved my tongue into his mouth. I had a week, a week for us to be as we used to be. And God damn it, I was going to take full advantage of everything. At this point, I didn't even care anymore. I don't think Cloud did either.

"_Cloud, I love you."_

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**Author's Note: This is going to be a long Fic, so don't think that it's ending any time soon. Cloud and Zack still have a bumpy road with things to figure out.**


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